porcelain_doll: (Kimi to Boku)
[personal profile] porcelain_doll
Title: their means
Pairing: Asaba Yuuki/Tsukahara Kaname
Rating: PG
Summary: Kaname's hypocrisy, Yuuki's cheesiness, their warmth.

His back is on his back, his hair scrapes on his nape, and his hair brushes on his left ear. He arches a little while he bends over, glasses tipping off at the bridge of his nose.

“Yuuki, stop it.”


And Kaname straightens himself so Yuuki moves back and their bodies are perfectly connected again. Like they should be.

The playground is pale with snow and the steam that floats into the air from their meat buns mingle and disappear. Yuuki faces a tree; Kaname looks up at the sky.




Yuuki chuckles – sarcastic, stiff but meaningful.

“Shut up.”

You should.”

“I won’t.”

“Then don’t.”

Kaname stuffs his mouth with the remaining ¼ of his snack. Yuuki takes small bites off of his own, chews slowly and reclines. He feels the goosebumps on Kaname’s nape, the same ones that the tips of his hair generate and he tries not to smile. He likes it.

“Stop sticking so close to me,” Kaname hisses, one cheek bulging with remnants of food.

“It’s cold.”


“I need the heat. Obviously.”

Kaname rolls his eyes as he swallows and crumples the small plastic bag in his hand. He feels the heat of Yuuki’s body permeating through his coat, past his skin to the insides of his veins – he shivers, with butterflies fluttering over his digested meat bun bits.

“You shouldn’t have dragged me out here then.”

“Who messaged about going shopping because his mother left a long list of things to buy for Christmas?”

Kaname shakes his head. How could that slip his mind?

“Who?” Yuuki insists. Kaname responds by moving back, hard to somehow knock Yuuki off, make him fall but he doesn’t. He already has, since long ago – fallen.

Shut up,” Kaname warns through gritted teeth. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the thought of Yuuki sticking so close to him then because, just because – his whole body is blushing and he hates it, loathes it like the fact that Yuuki has to go home in a few hours and leave him, for the night.

“Is it going to snow?” Yuuki asks.

“Did you not hear me?”

“Didn’t you?”

Kaname sighs – heavy - like his heart.

“I hope it does,” Kaname murmurs. So Yuuki can stay over.


“It won’t. It really won’t,” Kaname replies.

“I see.”

The sky is gray now and the tree is swaying. The clouds don’t exist, like the leaves on empty cracking branches. Their backs are still pressed together and they forget that it’s even winter.


“Is at home,” Yuuki punctuates. The tiny plastic bag in his hands crackles as he wrings it passively - similar to how a certain boy grasps at his heart and makes beautiful music flow out from it.

“Strange how you went out without him,” Kaname mentions, hopeful. Hope? Hoping? What for?

“I wanted to go to the bookstore anyway,” says Yuuki.

Kaname bows to his snow-stained shoes. Yuuki feels it; the way Kaname’s shoulders sag against his own.

“And there’s you,” Yuuki adds.

Kaname shifts a little. Yuuki doesn’t see it but he feels the smile on Kaname’s face, the red in his cheeks and feels – really - the beats that his heart creates – for him, perhaps?

“My money, you mean.”

“Exactly.” You.


Yuuki doesn’t reply. His tongue freezes from the cold and then it is lethargy – always lethargy – that kicks in, keeps him from speaking – always hesitation that hides his honesty.

“You should go home.” To get a set of spare clothes, sleep over.

“I should.” Pack for a few nights, stay by your side.

Kaname stands up first and he waits for Yuuki to do the same. When he does and turns his way, Yuuki thrusts the plastic bag to Kaname’s hands swiftly so that when it’s gone, the tingle from Kaname’s fingers lingers on his own.

What?” Kaname demands, eyes slanted and brows knitted.

“You throw it in the trash bin over there—“

Kaname smacks him up the head. He huffs away even as he hauls two shopping bags and leaves Yuuki with three. Reluctantly, Yuuki brings the three bags – willingly, he loves the boy straying away from him.

“Mom wants you to stay over for dinner.” It’s a lie. Just stay.

“What fun.” It is, by your side.

They walk together side by side, the plastic bags grazing at each other from time to time. It’s warm – together, on that winter day.

“I’ll keep you warm. I’ll protect you. Not from winter, but from myself.”


Yuuki presses the back of his hand to his lips, pretends to yawn while Kaname holds the third bag he’s supposed to be holding then.

“From my body, you might break. Melt, if you will.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“Are you?”

Kaname does. His ears are burning, so much so that he wants to hit Yuuki on the shoulder. He does.


“Love you.”


It’s really warm, having each other in their hearts.


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July 2013

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