porcelain_doll: (M. Shun)
[personal profile] porcelain_doll
Title: lastly
Pairing: Asaba Yuuta/Matsuoka Shun
Rating: PG
Summary: Shun's always the first--

And it’s Shun who smiles first; who holds Yuuta’s hand first and introduces himself cheerily, in Hidamari. It’s Shun who gets Kaname to befriend Yuuta and Yuuki even if he knows the boy is reluctant but he laughs anyway when Kaname and Yuuki have their very first argument, over biscuits. Yuuta only watches as he chews passively, listening to Shun’s alternating chuckles and warnings and he thinks it’s nice. It’s nice.

It’s Shun who greets Yuuta first on their first day to middle school.

“Good morning, Yuuta-kun!”

“Mornin’,” Yuuta and Yuuki chorus. Yuuta somehow forgets that Yuuki’s standing right next to him so the hand he almost holds up to wave at Shun retreats to his pocket.

Only a little, Shun walks ahead of the twins and Yuuta watches Shun’s back, how his short hair sways to the breeze and how the smaller boy bounces a bit as he steps.

“Someone seems happy,” Yuuki remarks after he yawns.

“He’s always happy,” Yuuta reminds.

And it’s nice.

It’s Shun who calls Yuuta first for PE; who leads the way to the locker room so they can change and Yuuta thinks Shun’s the first guy he met who won’t stop talking about cakes and sweets.

“My older sisters went to a café near the train station and they brought home cupcakes. The chocolate one was really nice but I especially liked the strawberry tart—“

Then Yuuta glances at Shun beside him. His cheeks are red and his fingers tug at the hem of his gym shirt as he looks down on his running shoes and Yuuta only tilts his head.

“Sorry,” Shun mumbles before he looks up at Yuuta with a shy smile. “Um. The sweets were delicious.”

Yuuta thinks Shun’s the first guy he met to ever apologize after realizing his rambling on about sweets.

It’s Shun who greets Yuuta (and Yuuki) first on the 20th of June. Always. With a call early at 7:30 or a simple text at exactly midnight and Yuuta will always wake up at 7 to wait or at exactly midnight to read and reply to the message. When Yuuki wakes up, Yuuta makes it a point to remind him to reply to Shun.

“He waits up until midnight, huh? How nice,” Yuuki says with little fascination and more drowsiness mixed together, lying back down on his bed and pulling the covers up over his head while Yuuta fixes his attention on his phone, at Shun’s message filled with smiley faces and warm, honest words.

“I’m glad he didn’t call this time,” Yuuki murmurs against the blanket and Yuuta smiles a little.

“Yeah,” he hums as he closes his eyes. Shun’s message floats around behind his eyelids, not the least bit bothering.

It’s Shun who apologizes first whenever he rants to Yuuta about Fuyuki being too perverted for his own good.

“He’s only in middle school! Only in middle school!” Shun shouts for the nth time that afternoon, having told Yuuta that Fuyuki hid his stash of porn under his bed again and their older sisters were upset with him.

Yuuta looks around the room. It’s empty now and the sun is setting behind Shun as he stands by the window, panting and cheeks red from frustration. Yuuta rests his hands on his lap as he stays in his seat and listens to Shun’s anger spilling out from his mouth. He imagines steam coming out of his ears but Yuuta doesn’t dare and thinks, instead, of what to say after Shun calms down.

“He won’t listen to me anymore, Yuuta-kun! He used to be so—“ Shun tries but he inhales a lungful of air, keeps his cheeks puffed up for a few seconds then he exhales. Yuuta watches quietly, like he always does.

“I’m sorry. I…”

“It’s fine.”

Like rainbows after the rain, there’s a smile on Shun’s face and Yuuta can’t help but think that Shun’s going to be okay; that even without him around, Shun will be just fine.

The 43rd Homare High School graduation ceremony ends and Yuuta, unknowingly, looks forward to Shun crying so that he can come over and pat him on the back; come over and remind himself that Shun needs him, no matter what. But Shun doesn’t cry and he smiles – so blindingly that Yuuta doesn’t know what to feel.

“Let’s keep in touch, okay?” Shun tells Kaname, Chizuru (who’s the only one tearing up in the group), Yuuki and Yuuta. “Update one another and stuff.”

Chizuru clings to Shun now and Kaname sighs. Yuuki loosens his blazer’s tie (he’s really not used to wearing that and will never get used to it anyway) and Yuuta watches, hiding a hand that turns into a fist inside the safety of his pocket.

“Sure,” Yuuta says on everyone’s behalf and he regrets looking at Shun then; the smile on his face is too blinding, too happy for Yuuta to take.

As everyone leaves, Shun stays behind and watches. He stares at Yuuta’s broad shoulders; his wide back, the long legs that saunter off to the future while Shun’s glued to the past and the tears he’s been keeping all this time spill out all at once, like rain.

And it’s Shun who falls in love first; who forgets to let go.

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July 2013

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